New Ways To Go

Are you in a mastermind group?  Napoleon Hill came up with the term to describe two or more individuals who form a ”cooperative alliance” with the purpose of helping each other to achieve a goal.  The group helps to inspire, counsel, encourage, support and to hold one another accountable in achieving their goal(s).  Mastermind groups will definitely help you attain your goal(s) faster.

It’s great to get together with your peers or others who are vested in making the mastermind work.  The group I meet with gets together once a week via telephone.  We discuss our vision, what we’ve accomplished during the previous week and offer comments, suggestions and advice to one another.

Being in the group keeps me focused on what I want to accomplish.  And I like being able to share my ideas, frustrations, suggestions, fears and hopes.  But what about my productivity level?  Am I really getting anything accomplished or am I all talk and no action?

In a recent meeting, we made the decision to change the name of our group from a mastermind group to a masteraction group.  Does the name really matter?  In this case, I think it does.  In a previous group in which I participated, I looked forward to meeting with my peers and listening to what they had accomplished, their suggestions and so forth.  Sure, I’d end the call with a decision to do something but often times, there was no follow through.  My intentions were good but ….  In my new masteraction group, we state our intention, and if we don’t come to the group meeting the following week having accomplished what we set out to do then we are held accountable.  Each member has to come up with a way to “pay the price” for not meeting their goal.  It may mean donating money to a favorite charity or just showing up “empty-handed” and being embarrassed.

We still discuss ideas and dreams, but it’s not enough to decide to do something.  We gotta back our tall talk with action.  If you’re in a mastermind group think about changing the name and then focus on living up to it.  Here are some other thoughts for your masteraction group:

• Try meeting more frequently to keep everyone on track.
• Turn your vision into reality.  Don’t just think or talk about it, step into new shoes.  Imagine how you would feel.  Create a detailed picture in your mind of who you are living out your vision.  Assume your vision has come to fruition.  How do you deal with the challenges before you?  You may find yourself approaching difficulties with an open mind and less negativity.
• Now that you’re in your new shoes and you picture yourself living out your dream, commit to making it happen.  How, when and where will you accomplish your goal?  Develop a plan and stick with it.  Your commitment is vital.  If you’re not committed to your vision, how can you expect your group to commit to supporting you?
• Bring your resources, connections, ideas, support and perspective to the group.  The purpose of the group is to propel each participant forward.  Trust that each member wants to see you succeed.  Use your judgment in evaluating others’ input and suggestions.  Consider feedback wisely.  If it does not ”feel” right to you, discard it.
• If you’re not in a masteraction group, why not?  Take the leap.  I’ve gotten more accomplished with my group than I could ever imagine.  You can do the same!

Do you spend way too much time searching for things you’ve misplaced?  One of my bad habits is that I tend to produce clutter.  I put something down and moments later it’s been swallowed up in chaos.  Sometimes I can find something quickly, but lately the clutter in my office had gotten out of hand.  It took me an hour to find an important piece of paper.  Three times last week I wasted precious chunks of time searching for my car keys.  So where did I find the motivation to drop everything and run to the store to purchase plastic boxes to organize and store my stuff away? 

I found it right smack in the middle of working on my business.  Suddenly, I needed a piece of paper that was nowhere to be found.  Frustrated by all the time I wasted, I ran right out and bought the boxes.  No more interruptions when I’m being productive in my business, which I’m passionate about.  Instead of hunting through piles, I have more time for exercising, another passion.  And most important, I could have used the time I squandered playing with my feral cat, Luc.

Do you kick yourself because you’ve been procrastinating, not accomplishing all you want to get done?  Yup.  For example, I know I should be writing every day.  But I found countless excuses to avoid working on doing a rewrite this week.  I got up early to write this morning but then couldn’t start right away.  Had to “read” something that would help me first (not really necessary).  Had to “look” something up (not really necessary).  Before I knew it, I’d blown 40 minutes.  And still I didn’t get around to writing.  It wasn’t until I realized I wouldn’t have a blog post up that I got hopping. 

Have you grown complacent or even bored?  Maybe you think life’s okay or there’s nothing to get excited about.  Maybe you’ve gotten sucked into a routine of plopping down in front of the TV to relax and you find yourself there hours later.  How can we get out of these situations?  Do we need a system or a better system?  Nope.  What I discovered many years ago is to get “in the zone.”

I was taking a photography course at the School for Visual Arts in New York City.  There I was in the darkroom printing my photos, and I totally lost track of time.  Everything just stopped for me.  When I finally left the darkroom, I was struck by how happy I’d felt in those moments.  I was in the zone.  In other words, I was totally engrossed.  You’ve no doubt seen athletes in this state concentrating to the utmost and making the most of their abilities.  There’s an energy that flows from that state of being.  I would bet that when these times occur you are involved in following your passion(s) in some way.  When you have your passion and a goal associated with it, the energy you produce can be a strong motivating force.

But what if you’re not sure what your passion is or you’ve lost touch with it.  Experimentation can be a great way to connect to a passion.  Get in touch with what puts you in the zone.  The list below has ideas to get you started.  Choose an area to focus on and broaden your activities.  For example, if your hobby is to arrange flowers, try something different such as scrapbooking.  The idea is to have new experiences, open possibilities and get in touch with what puts you in the zone.  Put together a list like the one below.   Expand on the ideas and have fun.

1. Creativity – Buy some watercolors and paint, Write a family history, Join a choral group
2. Movement – Yoga, Running, Team Sports, Pilates, Swimming
3. Study – Investment Club, Book Club, a Foreign Language
4. Sound – Listen to CDs, Observe Nature
5. Pets – Walking Dogs, Horseback Riding, Playing With Your Cat
6. Children – Playing Games With Your Kids or Other Children, Become a Big Sister, Tutor
7. Volunteerism – Donate Time to a Soup Kitchen, Habitat For Humanity, Foster A Homeless Animal
8. Travel – Go on Walking Tours, Plan Trips, Read About New Places
9. Hobbies – Antiquing, Car Shows, Scrapbooking, Photography
10. Business – Seminars, Classes, Join a Chamber of Commerce 

If you try an activity and it doesn’t inspire you, move on to another one.  At the very least, you’ll have some interesting experiences to share, and you may find the motivation to kick a bad habit, stop procrastinating or end your boredom.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/philms/ / CC BY 2.0

My brother called me from half way around the world to tell me that one of my high school classmates and a friend had passed away from colon cancer.  My friend was the perfect picture of fitness, and the news came as a shock.  As I later found out from talking with her husband, she had let life get in the way of her health.  She got busy moving her mother from one coast to another and had started a new job.  There were symptoms that clued her in to something being amiss, but she waited unitl her mother was settled and she was comfortable in her new job before checking in with a doctor.  By the time she did so, it was too late.  Her cancer was so far advanced she had to have a colostomy and was given six months to live.

Now as I mentioned, my friend was extremely fit so she defied the odds and lived another six years!  Good years — she traveled and took classes and got to spend some quality time with her husband.  But what I want to talk about today, is not the lesson to be learned here about not letting anything get in the way of taking care of yourself, but the lessons I learned about life from my friend.

Back when I was 26, I still did not know how to swim.  Countless swim instructors had tried to teach me, but were unsuccessful.  Despite my vain attempts, I desperately wanted to learn because I wanted to take sailing lessons.  And you couldn’t take the sailing lessons without passing the swimming test.  My friend Nancy was teaching swimming as she had done so for years, at the town pool.  I was embarrassed to go and take lessons at my advanced age, but she persuaded me to show up and I knew I wasn’t going to get the sailing lessons if I didn’t.

I’ll never forget the day I was in the shallow end — “swimming” across the width of the pool.  (Actually, I was doing the dead man’s float and kicking.)  I kicked and kicked — it was taking forever.  Frustrated, I stood up and realized that I had only traveled a few feet!  Every lifeguard on duty and those who were off duty yet hanging around the pool, stood there watching me.  Nancy explained they’d never seen anything like it.  I was doing everything but not moving forward.   That’s when she made me wear flippers along with her other students (half my age or younger).  By the time summer ended, I had made it to the deep end once or twice and by the end of the following summer, under Nancy’s tutelage, I had passed my Red Cross Intermediate Swimmer’s course, passed the swim test for the sailing school and taken a sailing lesson or two.

What I learned from Nancy is not only the value of persistence but the value of showing up.  Too often we let our doubts and fear take over our minds.  We’re not fully focused on our goal, or we don’t give it our best shot and we don’t do it consistently.  That’s what it means to show up.

Here are some things about showing up that I learned from my swimming lessons with Nancy:

• Showing up creates possibilities.  If you never walk down the path, you don’t know what you’re missing.  There are all sorts of people to meet, opportunities to explore and adventures to experience.  The world is wide open.
• Showing up reinforces your faith.  Maybe you don’t know for sure what will happen when you show up, but you trust that you will be changed by the process.  It’s not the same as hope.  In this case, you know something will change, but you’re not sure how.
• Showing up encourages growth.  When you try something new or expand your horizons in some way, you find yourself in a doing mode — action begets more action.  Revel in the ripple effect.
• Showing up gives you inspiration to keep going.  When you’re prepared to give an all out effort to reach your goal on a consistent basis before you begin, it gives you a jump start.  A jump-start inspires you to continue, which helps to fuel your growth even further.
• Showing up is based on an emotional commitment (your goal-driven purpose) and action.  It’s time-consuming.  The effort can seem like climbing a mountain.  That’s why it helps to have a good, heartfelt and specific reason before you face a challenge, try something new or begin an undertaking.  But without the action part, of course, you’re not showing up.

Nancy was a very goal-oriented individual.  She was a hiker and lover of nature, who knew that going to the summit was better than hiking half-way up.  She also knew and taught me that if you don’t show up, you’re assured of not making it.  So show up — jump into the pool and life.

If you’re an older job seeker, you may be struggling these days.  It may be taking longer for you to find work.  You may face greater competition, and you may see a bigger decrease in your earnings compared with younger job hunters.  You may also be up against employers who fear paying higher health costs for boomers.

Besides the older workers facing unemployment, there are older workers giving up retirement plans and dreams in order to look for ways to remain in the labor market.

An article in the New York Times suggests that hiring bosses prefer to sign up workers under the age of 50.  So what are aging workers to do?  One career expert I listened to on television suggested that because of the tough times we live in, instead of spending 40 hours a week job-hunting, 60 hours of searching would be necessary.  Unemployed boomers and those afraid of layoffs are going to have to boost their activity level in order to find work.

We’re all facing a different landscape today.  You may have to create work rather than find it.  To compete strong, two activities you need to step up are thinking and dreaming.  First, find some quiet time to reflect.  Then follow the tips below for how to add a more creative approach to your job search.

1.  Take Stock.  You’ve got a lot going for you.  Remind yourself of your strong points such as your experience, your wisdom, your strong work ethic and commitment.  If you’re out of work, you can work a flexible schedule.  Start thinking outside the job box.  What are your passions and dreams?  What special skills and talents do you possess?  Note that these may be different than the skills you list on your resume.  Consider your curiosity, childhood experiences, hobbies and how you spend your non-work time.  Is there another way you’d like to spend it?  Is there something you’ve always wanted to do?  Do you feel this is something you have to do?  The pressing feeling of knowing there is something you must do in life will give you the persistence needed to make it happen.

2.  Put Your Worries On Hold.  You may be worrying about mortgage payments, children’s college expenses or have other financial concerns.  Put these thoughts aside while you do your dreaming.  If not, you may rule out a lot of perfectly good ideas before you get going.  These ideas may be doable once you allow yourself time to reflect and plan.  Placing a damper on your dreams may lead you to inaction.

3.  Get Inspired.  Be creative and explore new ideas.  Put traditional job-hunting jargon out of your mind.  Don’t look at your resume or try to match your new ideas to your “core competencies.”  Allow yourself the possibility of moving in a new direction.  Limit negative self-talk.  You should feel free to be inventive.

4.  Think Multiple Streams of Income.  Let’s say you need/want to earn a certain amount of money.  Perhaps 2 or 3 small ventures would be more satisfying than the one bigger salaried job you work at now or recently lost.  In fact, the money you earn from two or three smaller ventures may equal or exceed the amount you earn(ed).  And should something happen to one undertaking, you’ll still have two others up and running to bring in money.

5.  Think About New Ways To Work.  Explore alternatives to traditional 9-to-5 or 8-to-late jobs.  You could make your own hours, work from home, do volunteer or contract work.  The more you open yourself up to something new that involves your interests and is true to your values the more likely you are to come up with a new possibility.

6.  Focus on Freedom Not Benefits.  You may have a list of benefits you’ve lived with for years.  True, you may not have them when you start your new enterprise, but you may have other benefits such as no commute, more time, or greater flexibilty.  The more freedom you have, the more you may be able to bring in the money you need for the benefits you’re losing such as health insurance.

7.  Consider The Small Steps.  It’s important to focus on outcomes.  What would happen if . . . ?  Your dream is all about the big picture.  It keeps you motivated.  But it can seem so big and daunting that it leads you to quit.  Always be thinking about your small steps.  Ask yourself, “What step do I have to do next?”  Breaking down the bigger tasks into smaller ones will help get you there faster.

While you continue to work at getting networking opportunities or job leads, spend some time thinking and dreaming about the life you’d really like to live.  It’s never too late to make a life for yourself that you truly desire, but it does take time to start a new business.  Start working on your dreams, and you may discover rewarding results.

There’s something about magic that captures our attention.  Though I’ve never had the opportunity to see a spectacular magic act such as a performance by Siegfried & Roy, the Las Vegas entertainer and storytellers, I do get to see a magic show every year.  The star of the show is Houdanny, an elderly man who performs at the lake in Massachusetts, where my aunt has a summer home.  His assistant is his young granddaughter.  Though the tricks are pretty much the same every year and there are no special effects, Houdanny fills up the seats at the annual neighborhood Labor Day picnic.

Houdanny has perfected many tricks.  Even though he performs to pretty much the same audience every year, they’re still baffled as to how he does them.  Houdanny reaps the rewards of many smiles, hand-clapping applause and the knowledge that he leaves a gathering of delighted children and adults in awe of his magical prowess.  But his magic act is a sideline business for this summertime magician.  Perhaps it wasn’t his desire or destiny nor the desire or destiny of so many other childhood dreamers to become a superstar magician.  So how did two children growing up in postwar Germany rise to the top of their profession?  Clearly there was something different about their dreams and ambition.  Theirs is a truly inspirational story and one that illustrates some of the key factors involved in achieving success.

If you go to Siegfried & Roy’s website, you will be interested to read their life story of how it all began.  As young boys they had already found their passions in life:  Siegfried was enthralled with magic and Roy loved animals.  Years later they met when both had taken a job on the same cruise ship.  Siegfried worked as the ship’s entertainer and later Roy joined as his assistant.  At one point, Siegfried consulted with Roy, asking him about what he thought of the act.  Roy wanted to know if Siegfried used a rabbit in his disappearance act, could he also perform the act using a Cheetah.   It so happened that Roy had smuggled a Cheetah he had befriended at the Bremen Zoo onboard.  Siegfried’s response was, “In magic, anything is possible.”  By now the two men had their passions and a shared vision.  The duo traveled to Europe performing in small clubs for little pay.  Times were tough, but they were committed to succeed.  So they focused on developing and refining their magic act as well as honing their presentation abilities.  When they eventually came to Las Vegas they battled naysayers when they were told by an executive at one of the top hotels that, “Magic doesn’t work in this town.”  That didn’t deter them.  They forged ahead and were ultimately named Magicians of the Century.

If you’re wondering how to achieve success, consider how Siegfried & Roy did it.  First they followed their passions.  You’re more likely to succeed and enjoy life more if you do something you love.  Second they had a shared vision.  If you don’t know where you want to go, how can you get there?  A vision can help motivate you to achieve your goal.  It can also be used as a marker to measure your success.  Third, they were committed to making their vision a reality.  No matter what the circumstances, Siegfried & Roy were determined to accomplish their goals.  Fourth, they focused on their dream.  They put all their energy into working at making things better and being the best they could be.  Fifth, they had a strong and powerful belief in themselves.  Words to the contrary could not interfere with their strong belief system about what they could accomplish.  Sixth, they expressed gratitude.  The two magicians work to preserve the “Royal White Tigers” and the “Magical White Lions”.  They also give back to their community and to the College of Magic.  Your moods, your health and your relationships are all affected by giving thanks.  In fact, giving thanks and giving back can change the way you look at the world, which in turn can boost your success.  

Be sure to watch 20/20 tomorrow night, Friday, March 6th.  They’re doing a piece on Siegfried & Roy.  In 2003, Roy nearly died from tiger bites during one of their performances.   Until last week they hadn’t performed in 5 1/2 years, and parts of what you’ll see on the ABC broadcast are clips from their farewell performance on February 28th of this year.  The performance was a benefit for the Lou Ruvo Brain Institute’s “Keep Memory Alive” Alzheimer’s gala.

That’s the seventh thing they did to achieve success.  They never quit.  Supposedly, during this last show they perform again with the same tiger that attacked Roy.  It’s a moving story — one that makes you think about your own passions, your own destiny and where the magic is in your life.

On Friday where I live in the East Coast, it was 50 degrees.  The grayish white landscape of winter seemed to have vanished despite predictions from Phil, the groundhog.  And the sun was shining.  During my daily walk, I felt joyful, hopeful and full of energy.  Sounds good doesn’t it?

But then I glanced at the online news.  Another story about the latest plane crash, war in Afganistan and more bad news about the economic downturn.

This kind of “stuff” is not going to leave you feeling invigorated or happy.  It leaves you wondering about life and our purpose for being here.  Who needs negative events and stories that leave you feeling anxious, stressed, fearful, unproductive and depressed!

So I stopped reading the bad news and checked out some websites that spread good news.  Being a figure skating fan, I was happy to find a story about how Michelle Kwan had gone skating with a young, pediatric heart transplant survivor.  The girl idolized her for a decade and had always wanted to skate with Michelle.   

We all need to get ourselves some good news – in abundance!  Years ago I was taking a walk with my friend, Marlene.  She seemed to be always talking about “happy” things and her strong belief in God and the good he brought to her life.  I asked her how she reconciled all the good with the terrible, sorrowful and tragic events that were pervading the news back then.  Her answer was that she didn’t focus on those things.  Instead she paid attention to the beauty surrounding us on our walk, her dog frolicking beside her and our conversation about our creative projects.  She bubbled with enthusiasm and joy.  Marlene was living in the moment.  I didn’t know what that meant back then, but I certainly wanted to be like her.

Flash forward to today.  I heard from Marlene recently.  One line of her email jumped out at me: “I could not wish for anything other than what I have … isn’t that super?”  You bet it is!!  How does she do it?  How did she achieve such a high degree of happiness and satisfaction with her life?

Perhaps we’ve trained our minds to be receptive to news of a negative nature.  You can’t escape the headlines.  Bad news is inevitable.  When we open the morning paper or turn on the TV, we’re primed to expect bad news.  So what happens when we’re embarking on change, thinking or planning about how to follow our passion, starting our own business or reinventing ourselves?  We need some different thinking and experiences to fuel our creativity and passions. 

Positive impulses can spark your imagination, open you up to new experiences and distract you from sad and anxiety-producing events.  It takes a conscious effort to start thinking about positive things in these doom and gloom times.  So fill yourself up with some good news.  Stoke your creative fire with a little optimism.  It’s good to balance the scales.  Check out the five ways below to get yourself some good news:

1.  Be in the moment.  Don’t let the present pass you by.  While you’re thinking about the past or fretting about the future, you miss out on the pleasures and experiences of the moment.  Practice mindfulness by developing an awareness of your senses — sensations and sounds, for example.  Focus your mind on your present experience.  Think non-judgmentally about what you’re doing without thinking of the past or future.

2.  Turn off your television news and check out Happy News.  Or take a look at the Good News Network.  Bookmark or add them to your favorites list today.  There are other great online sources of good news as well.  Let me know your suggestions.

3.  Build a network of happy, uplifting people.  Share in their delight.  Listen to their stories of happiness and heartbreak.  Make a note of how they manage to prevail through disappointment and overwhelming happenings.  Optimistic people expect good news.

4.  Act like a kid again.  Ever notice how children don’t seem to  have a care in the world?  They don’t have a lot of patience for bad news because they’re already onto the next fun thing.  Spend some time with children, exercising with them and playing games.  Let loose with your inner child.  Note how kids are pleased and amused by the simplest things.  Spend time in their company, and you’re more likely to listen for good news than bad.

5.  Start a gratitude journal.  Every night before you go to sleep write down seven things you were grateful for that day.  Your journal can become your good news notebook.  Refer to it during the day to remind yourself of gratifying events or relationships, quiet moments, fresh air, a delicious fruit, a healthy body, a strong recovery or simply another day.

Recently my teenage cousin compared himself to one of his brothers by proudly stating that he had never failed at anything he set out to accomplish. Wow! That’s a pretty impressive statement many of us might wish we could make.

But my initial reaction to my cousin’s remark caused my heart to sink. Sooner or later, he will experience failure and I can only imagine how discouraged he will feel. Failure is a part of life; it’s only human nature to fail. Think of it this way — without failure how can we progress?  Failure is not something to dread but is something that will move us along the way to success.

I remember a family friend, a well-known editor, saying to me many years ago, that she hoped my brother got numerous rejection slips before he got his first work published. At the time, I thought it was a harsh comment, but what she meant was that failing would give him the opportunity to learn what it takes to be a writer.

Have you ever felt as if you were on the “road to failure”? Imagine how Thomas Edison confronted that idea. He invented the electric light bulb after more than 10,000 attempts. Edison saw possibility. He had a vision, a clear goal that motivated him to continue until he succeeded. He didn’t view his countless attempts as failures but as setbacks. And with each one he experienced, he moved closer to his goal growing his knowledge base and fine-tuning his grand plan.

A failure is a marker on a timeline. I used to be a whiz at cold calling. That’s because I figured out that it took me approximately 300 calls to get three appointments. Therefore, you might conclude that only three of the calls were successful. I didn’t view the other 297 as failures but as a necessary means to an end. A failure is not necessarily positive or negative.

If you fail and you haven’t given your best effort, that may be a moment to despair or perhaps it’s a revelation that you’re on the wrong track. Sometimes we just need to adjust our goal. Many “aha” moments are born from failures. At times failure may cause us to junk all our previous approaches and try a new way to go.

We’ve all failed and experienced the disappointment or pain associated with failing. But failure, like many other things, is a question of mindset. If you tell yourself you’re a failure, you will be. If you think you’re going to fail, you will. But why not make the most of what you have? View your failures as steppingstones to success. You need them to get there.

And so I would say to my young cousin or to anyone who views failure as a defeat, do not fear failure, embrace it!

Tags: Add new tag, Failure, Mindset

Welcome! My name is Barb van Wickland. New Ways To Go is my blog to inspire and encourage people moving in a new direction. It’s for people who want to make the most of their personal potential. Whether you want to shape your muscle, build your inner self, strengthen your spirit or create a livelihood doing something you love, I’m looking forward to connecting with you. Sign up for my newsletter and be a part of New Ways To Go!